What the AP Lang Bachelorette Taught Me (E)

That time of the year had hit where the stress level got to such an insane amount that we were all going home studying for the AP Exam laughing through our tears and fearing the worst, failing and letting everyone who had helped us get this far down, especially our teacher.

The best and worst was yet to come, the AP exam. It marked the end of the incredible amount of work we had all put in throughout the school year but also marked the end of being able to be around a group of around 20 incredible people every day from 12:09 to 1:00.

If there is one thing that AP Lang has taught me, it is to be confident in myself and my writing.

Me showing off my new found AP Lang confidence

Not necessarily in the "omg, you look so good today!" way but being able to express myself through all of my writing and being proud of it. My Sophomore year taught me how to open up about my truths to myself and my Google Docs or pen and paper; my Junior year taught me how to talk about my struggles and downfalls with the people that I saw every day. Lang taught me to trust that not everybody is out to get me, especially every boy. It taught me that everybody fails now and then, everybody has a quirk, and everybody has something about them that they want to talk about, but simply don't know how to voice themselves.

The Lang Gang gave me my voice. 

Whether it was one of the girls in our class coming out to us before she even did to her parents, or Sam being such a beast in making a difference in the mental health world, the incredible people that I was surrounded by for an hour every day pushed me to be myself and to be okay with it.

Reading Missoula taught me that what happened to me could have been much worse, but that it was okay and that there are so many girls out there, including one of my teachers, that did have it worse, and that it is okay to talk about it. We have to make a difference.

Collectively bouncing college essay ideas off of each other helped me express the truth about why the hell I grew up so fast, why I was forced to mature and handle a drug overdose in the 6th grade instead of riding my bike from the bus stop to get a 10 for $10 slush with 9 of my friends. It helped me communicate with others who had gone through similar, yet so different things. From Kenza's struggle in her culture, to Nick's love of video games, to Victoria's tragic loss of her uncle when she was so young, we were all able to help each other through these things mentally in this day (if that makes sense,) even though the events all happened before some of us even met each other. We became a family.

Lang helped me get closer to one of my best friends, Riley. We had always been a little tense with each other in our friend group and sharing the same best friend was hard for us. Our love for writing and English brought us closer and we helped each other with assignments for this class and studied together when we needed it.

If there is one thing I will remember about my Junior year of high school, it will 100% be my Lang buddies (including McMom.) Even though Senior year hasn't started yet, I know that H406 will always be my home and somewhere I can always go for guidance (as long as it isn't during a Lang class.)

To all the future kids taking lang, even though you may never see my blog, let alone read it or make it this far, treasure your journey through Lang. You may walk into that class on move-up day absolutely terrified of McMonster and you may hate the person she forced you to sit next to but that person will change your life, everybody in that class will. Lang will teach you so much about English, but also about the world and the people in it, you won't be able to slack off or fool around very often, but when you do, just know that there is always a purpose for it. Don't hesitate to share something that might make you or someone else cry, or to ask for help, or to be vulnerable, everybody in that class is there for you, including McMahon (even if you're scared of her for the first month or two.)

To McMahon, thank you endlessly for breaking up mine and Kenza's fights, for swearing at me to get me to "cut the shit", and for genuinely caring about my aspirations and dreams, no matter how big they are. Thank you for listening to all of my stories and my struggles, and for lifting me up each time. You are one of the most powerful and strong independent women I have met (and honestly, will ever meet,) and have made an impact on an important year in my life that will truly last forever. I will always remember your class and everything it has taught me. Senior year will not be the same without a class with you, but I know you support my journey into AP Lit. I love you forever McMom.

Finally, to all the amazing people in Lang period 6, I don't have to put this in here but I want to thank you so much for embracing me. Together we're not just some of the smartest kids in the school, but we are the individuals who need to and CAN make a difference in the world someday. I can't wait to see Izzy become an incredible lawyer, see Neha get a 5 on the AP exam, see Kenza become an engineer, Nick a computer scientist, and I can't wait to watch more of Sam playing golf on national TV. Thank you for putting up with me and for pushing me to try my best always. You've all contributed to making me the person I am now, so SO different than the person I was in September when we all met. Who knew 20 new friends and 9 months could change a girl for her life. I'll remember all of you forever, I promise.

Just kidding. I'm sobbing.
P.S. Thank you for putting up with my terrible humor and choice to base my blog off of The Bachelorette, you'll love me more for it one day!

If you know, you know...